I have attached the feedback on the essay 1.1 below as well as attached the essay 1.1 you wrote, I just need you to go and take her feedback and use it towards the essay 1.2.
Attached also are read the original readings used for the essay.
“I’m confused by your approach. I don’t have a strong sense here of what you want to accomplish; what point you want to make. The essay is mostly a summary of Williams’ essay, with a random source added in. Why have you included Roy Wagner’s book? We haven’t read that in our class. This may be from your Soc readings and background, but you’re going beyond the scope of the essay here. The example of Native Americans isn’t connecting very well to defining culture, but is, perhaps, meant to explain what happens when a person’s culture is devalued? I’m not sure.
For Essay 1.2, revise to find a focus for your analysis. If you want to focus on what happens when a culture is devalued, that could be interesting, and it could be a good pair with Anzalda, who criticizes dominant anglo-European U.S. society for devaluing other cultures. Does devaluing a culture allow for violence (even eradication) against the people associated with that culture? Is to devalue a culture to dehumanize its people? That’s a fascinating question, and you can certainly make that your thesis question and develop your essay from there. Again, Anzalda is making that same connection between culture and identity, but you need to state this logical connection up front.”
