please see attached the rough draft and edit it according to the notes below:
1. More logical groupings: Don’t “leave” Rome for Pisa and then bring us back to Rome! Instead tell us that you will first present some of the architectural marvels of Rome, e.g., “In the first part of the paper, I will discuss the Coliseum, the Trevi Fountain, the Castle of Sant’ Angelo, and the Pantheon.” Then you dedicate a paragraph or two to each one. In between these ‘Roman’ paragraphs, you can link them to each other by saying something like, “The next fascinating piece of Roman architecture that we will explore is…” Or “Now that we have discussed the Trevi Fountain, we will head across the Tiber River to examine the Castle of Sant’Angelo…”
I would recommend doing the same for Florence. In other words, don’t just focus on the Duomo. While you are discussing Florence, take that opportunity to also discuss the Medici Palace, the Ponte Vecchio, the Uffizi Gallery, etc.
2. When you conclude a city, you cannot just start talking about another city, there must be a transition sentence. E.g., before you start talking about the Leaning Tower of Pisa, please say something like “We will now head North up the Italian peninsula to discuss a marvel known around the world in a small city named Pisa.”
